Three Lions (The AFTN Remix)

If there’s one thing we at AFTN like to see, it’s the English getting themselves all built up thinking that they’re gonna win something and then getting gubbed! How we’ve laughed at them over the years.

You could start the fun with the Hand of God in Mexico 86, then in 1990 when Gazza was greetin’ like a wean and the shocking penalty misses, in ’93 when Koeman never got sent off in the qualifier (do I not like that – well we bloody well did Mr Taylor) and then scored the goal that knocked England out, or what about in Euro ’96 when mummy’s little Gareth screwed up and the Germans beat them as usual.

Then there was Beckham being sent off for a petulant, overpaid tosser kick out against the Argies in 98. The inability to beat 10 man Brazil in 2002 coupled with some dodgy keeping. Sol Campbell’s disallowed goal in Euro 2004 then the subsequent loss to a penalty by a goalkeeper. Ah, the list seems endless and oh my, how we laughed in Scotland.

So much so in fact that we just had to immortalise in song just some of the happy times Eng-er-land have given us over the years. We did that with a remixed version of Baddiel and Skinner’s “Three Lions” in Issue 36 of the paper AFTN fanzine in September 1996. Now, in this new, web-based version of AFTN, it only seemed fitting to do a little remix of the remix. Enjoy!

THREE LIONS (THE AFTN REMIX)

They’re going home, they’re going home, they’re going
The footballs are going home

Everyone seems to know the score
With the world they’ll wipe the floor
They just know, they’re so sure
But wait, Rooney’s seen red and their chances are dead
Another penalty loss
And we’ll all remember

Three lions on their shirts
Carragher and Gerrard
40 years of hurt
Cos they can’t score from 12 yards

So many jokes, so many sneers
When fat boy shed his tears
And then Waddell and Pearce
And I still see…
Campbell’s goal ignored
And when Ricardo scored
Beckham seeing red
And Seaman dancing

Three lions on a shirt
Number 6 and Southgate
40 years of hurt
Cos his penalty went too straight

I know that was then
But now we’re laughing again

They’re going home, they’re going home, they’re going
The footballs are going home
They’re going home, they’re going home, they’re going
The footballs are going home
(England have blown it)
They’re going home, they’re going home, they’re going
The footballs are going home
They’re going home, they’re going home, they’re going
The footballs are going home

Three lions on their shirts
Carragher and Gerrard
40 years of hurt
Cos they can’t score from 12 yards

Three lions on a shirt
Frankie boy number 8
40 years of hurt
Cos his penalty went too straight

Three lions on their shirts
Carragher and Gerrard
40 years of hurt
Cos they can’t score from 12 yards

Original lyrics © Baddiel/Skinner
This version © Llewellyn/McColl/AFTN